Death is the Middle of a Long Life
An old Irish proverb (by way of Michael Meade) has it that, “Death is the middle of a long life.” In light of my own experience and in purpose guiding clients, this simple proverb points to a central archetypal force at play in Purpose Discovery and the Journey of Soul Initiation. For me the passage of middle-death evokes a sense of responsibility. Whenever we reach this point in our lives we are called to tend that middle-death process intentionally and consciously, or ignore it at our own peril.
Transformation
Clients come to Purpose Discovery because something in their lives must change. They are aware of an existential discomfort, and they quietly carry the weight of their first half of life. They might even feel like a stranger in their own life, somehow bound for another world.
With this proverb death is placed in the middle of life where it can become central to our focus at a critical time of life. Instead of it being cast outward to some vague and distant appendix of the future, death is kept central to living. It points us to the truth of the slow death we've been living since birth, the death in every moment that we must embrace as the inevitable, continual transformation and rebirth of life.
"Transformation was once considered to be the fundamental law and core dynamic of the soul. The problem is that in order to find a new form, the old formation or formulation must die. The word transform means to 'undergo a change of form;' to change not the appearance, but the very form of one’s existence. If we can suffer a little death, the next version of our life can be born. Life and death can thus be found to be secretly conspiring to make rebirth or renewal possible."
- Michael Meade, Awakening the Soul
The renewal that is possible in our lives is only available to us after embracing the middle-death. So much of what was needed as part of our identity in order to "make it" in our lives and in the outer world are the very facets of ourselves that are holding us back from true transformation and uncovering our Soul-level Purpose. The middle-death is a dying or letting-go of our first identity so that a great rebirth and renewal may take place.
The One-Way Door
When approaching the threshold of middle-death I observe in my clients a combination of fear, reluctance, curiosity, and courage. It is fully normal and expected for them to be scared, and tracking emotions as important messages of perception they experience fear arising from the state of not-knowing. There is no guarantee to what might be on the other side of this threshold, and because it's a one-way door, they can't peek through to decide whether or not it's worth stepping through. The ego or little-self is terrified, because it loves control, certainty, and guarantees. And yet it's the one being asked, begged, called to become something bigger, to embrace a purpose infused life of ensouled living.
"Initiation not only means taking a new step on the road of life, but also undergoing a complete change of life. What initiates us also strips us down to the inner essentials and releases qualities and powers that were hidden within. Thus, stepping onto the path of initiation also means that there is no going back. On the path of transformation, there can be no way back to the self-identity or sense of life we had before."
- Michael Meade, Awakening the Soul
Despite the risky proposition of middle-death, my clients approach this doorway tenderly and gently. With an open-heart and curiosity their deep Self intuitively knows that on the other side of the threshold is the unique way of being that was meant for them all along. There is a nervous excitement to push into the next boundless horizon of their own being. Glimpses of the hidden qualities and powers offer welcome balance to the unavoidable fact that they will face the pain of dying to old ways, releasing old habits, relinquishing outgrown beliefs, and letting-go of an identity that is too small for them.
Homeward Bound
Three Interpretations of the Tarot Death Card
If death comes in the middle of life, then we are meant to reach some terminus or ending of the current path in our lives. The outward journey as we know it is over, and yet there are years left to live in the time bound world. Thus a birth takes place after middle-death and another journey begins. Death is an eternal and universal symbol of transition and transformation. Various depictions of death in the tarot invite us to experience the movement and growth surrounding death as a journey.
It's a far-gone lullaby / Sung many years ago / Mama, mama many worlds I've come / Since I first left home / Goin' home, goin' home / By the water-side, I will rest my bones / Listen to the river sing sweet songs / To rock my soul.
- Robert Hunter
In this way Death is the teacher on our pilgrimage home to the most true and authentic center of our highest Self. Death is the quiet companion we have had our whole lives, and the one who stands in the middle of our life pointing us to the initiatory transition on our way home to ourselves.
Tending to the Middle Death
If you feel yourself headed toward the little death in the middle of your life, here are three ways you can approach the threshold.
Find other seekers. Pick 10 people from your social media feed that somehow make you feel small or discouraged about your life. Mute or unfollow them. Now find 10 people to follow that lead lives more in alignment with how you’d like to live. Start reading about the topic of little death. (The book Awakening the Soul referenced in this post is a great start) Go to a meetup group or community webinar focused on psycho-spiritual development. Find communities of healing that dispel hopelessness in a world heading toward collapse.
Put your affairs in order. Even though we are talking about a metaphorical death here, there is a lot to be said about coming to a good place in your life. Strengthen your contemplative practices such as meditation, yoga, prayer, and journaling. Reevaluate relationships that are perhaps holding you back or locked into your identity. Cultivate the arts of forgiveness and gratitude. Start to become aware of how the little-mind craves for certainty, control, safety, and stability.
Encourage a shift in your identity. Be open and willing to let go of attitudes that no longer serve you, and focus on clearing out parts of your old identity. Physically give away material items that reference or were part of your old identity. Make a list of behaviors, habits, and perspectives that you must surrender. Stop a hobby that no longer lights you up. Put down books and other media that are just more of the same.
Whatever you do, do it with intention. Tend to this critical moment in your life with presence. It can be one of the most important, painful, joyful, and exhilarating thresholds of your life. Go slow, and safe travels home.
